Episode 27 - Major League

Happy Thanksgiving. Drink Eddie Harris in, folks.

Happy Thanksgiving. Drink Eddie Harris in, folks.

Just in time for Thanksgiving, but far too late for a baseball-themed episode to be relevant, Ali and Jon have decided to return with a surprisingly long discussion about 1989's Major League! Jon is penitent about his failed original movie choice. Ali is defiant in her aversion to Tom Berenger's lips. Both deserve a red tag in their lockers.

Major League was written and directed by David S. Ward, and stars Charlie Sheen, Tom Berenger, Corben Bernsen, Rene Russo, James Gannon, Bob Uecker, and the one and only Wesley Snipes.

Episode 26 - Troop Beverly Hills

How embarrassing: Jon almost wore the same dress to record this.

How embarrassing: Jon almost wore the same dress to record this.

Sorry for the lateness - this was recorded 2 weeks ago, but Jon totally screwed up and never prepared it to post. But maybe it will be worth the wait? We may never know.

At any rate, Ali and Jon are down and out enough to watch Troop Beverly Hills, more or less the final nail in the coffin of Shelley Long's career as a lead actress. Ali is upbeat, and ready for a happy nostalgic moment. Jon is a little leery, since this is the second Jeff Kanew film in as many episodes. But hey, at least half the kids in this movie have had better careers than its star!

Episode 25 - Revenge of the Nerds

Jon has basically, without irony, worn every one of these styles at least once in his lifetime.

Jon has basically, without irony, worn every one of these styles at least once in his lifetime.

Ali and Jon celebrate their 25th episode by nearly breaking themselves with 1984's smash hit Revenge of the Nerds, a slobs-vs.-slobs "comedy" that forgets to do things like "be funny," "make people laugh," or "have basic human decency." Jon faces the nameless dread of existence. Ali has a dark night of the soul. Panties are raided, but will the nerds steal their hearts?

You know what? We're not going to bother crediting the cast and director of this shitshow. Hell, we're not even going to put an Amazon link to buy it. Do not spend your money on this movie. Send it to a support group for survivors of sexual abuse or something. Man, fuck this movie sideways.

Episode 24 - Blade Runner

Man, the last season of Hogan's Heroes got weird...

Man, the last season of Hogan's Heroes got weird...

In an episode destined to be considered either a visionary masterpiece or a long, boring, self-important wank, Ali and Jon take on Ridley Scott's 1982's seminal sci-fi noir classic, Blade Runner. Jon attempts to build a better life on the Offworld Colonies. Ali just wants him to vanish like tears in the rain. Mainwhile, Sparky dreams of electric sheep.

Blade Runner stars Harrison Ford, Sean Young, Rutger Hauer, M. Emmet Walsh, Edward James Olmos, as well as Larry, his brother Darryl Hannah, and his other brother Darryl Hannah.

Episode 23 - SpaceCamp

CURSE YOU, JINX!

CURSE YOU, JINX!

MMIS FANS: YOUR LONG WAIT IS OVER! Was it worth it? Probably not. Ali and Jon get lost in SpaceCamp (1986) this week. Jon hates Jinx. Ali hates Jon. Both forget to mention John Williams apparently did the music in this movie. He probably should have done a better job.

SpaceCamp was directed by some guy named Harry Winer, and "stars" Indiana Jones' most irritating girlfriend, Marty McFly's Mom, John Travolta's wife, Lamar the Nerd, that guy from The OC, and some kid named Leaf that we're sure never worked again. 

Episode 22 - Superman IV: The Quest For Peace

This is closer to how Jon would look if he was left to his own devices than he would ever care to admit.

This is closer to how Jon would look if he was left to his own devices than he would ever care to admit.

Time for MMIS to go back to both the "Fourth Movie Of a Franchise" and the "Young Jon Realizes a Movie Can Be Terrible" wells for 1987's Superman IV: The Quest For Peace, which officially stomped the life out of the once mighty Christopher Reeve Superman series. Jon is considering taking a speeding bullet. Ali is thinking of leaping in front of a locomotive. Have both of them discovered their respective Kryptonites?

Superman IV: The Quest To Destroy the Superman Legacy was directed by Sidney J. Furie, and stars basically everyone from the original Superman movie but Otis and Miss Tessmacher (lucky them). It also stars Zoë Wanamaker's dad and Ernest Hemingway's granddaughter.

Episode 21 - Top Gun

GOOSE JAMS!

GOOSE JAMS!

Get on the Turnpike Towards The Area Of Increased Hazards, as Ali shows Jon 1986's best Navy recruitment video Top Gun. Ali is nauseated by the lack of sexual chemistry between our leads. Jon is just glad to be hanging with the boys. Both are sad to learn that the pattern is full.

Top Gun was directed by Tony Scott and stars Maverick, Goose, Iceman, Slider, Jester, Gooch, Pottymouth, Pancakes, Zippo, Gummo, Shemp, and Tom Skerritt. There's some Loggins, some Moroder, and some Faltermeyer.

BACKDOOR PILOT SPECIAL: A Hard Grey's Night

Jon spent more time doing this than he has ever spent on a real job.

Jon spent more time doing this than he has ever spent on a real job.

Hey, MMIS fans, welcome to a special preview episode of A Hard Grey's Night, the Internet's Most Reluctant Grey's Anatomy Podcast, where 50% of our hosts would rather be anywhere else! 

In this episode, Ali forces Jon to watch the pilot, "A Hard Day's Night," for the SECOND time, and then forces him to talk about it as politely as he can. If you haven't seen the entire series, there will be spoilers. But honestly, why watch it at all when we can just tell you what happens (Ed. Note: Jon clearly writes these summaries)

Episode 18 - Overboard

MMIS: Your home for gruesome Lincoln portraits.

MMIS: Your home for gruesome Lincoln portraits.

This would be an all time classic episode, if we hadn't effed up the recording about 16 minutes in! Still, marvel at the amazing chemistry between Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn in 1987's Overboard being mirrored by Ali Goodman and Jon Wolter. Be awed as Ali forgets to set up the microphone properly. Be completely unsurprised that Jon forgets to tell the trivia that this movie was turned into a 2006 South Korean sitcom called Couple or Trouble! All this, plus Ali raps! Sort of!

Overboard also stars Edward Herrmann, Katherine Helmond, Mike Hagarty, and Rowdy Roddy McDowell. It was directed by Laverne DeFazio's brother (Jon may have mistakenly said he was her husband - we aren't going to go back and confirm this) and written by Leslie "Ms. Mrs. Doubtfire" Dixon.

Episode 16 - Oh, God! Book II

Our 16th, and most terrifying, president.

Our 16th, and most terrifying, president.

It's a Forgotten Franchise Friday (assuming you choose to listen to this on a Friday) this episode, as Ali shows Jon the second installment in the once-quite-popular Oh, God! series. Ali gets serious for a moment. Jon does impromptu exegesis of George Burns' parable of the Kitten and the Lion and/or Tiger. Do both find religion? Isn't a movie released in 1980 essentially just a 70s movie? Also, Ali accidentally creates Jon's new favorite children's character.

Oh, God! Book II stars George Burns, Louanne, Suzanne Pleschette, the Former Mister Meredith Baxter-Birney, Mork's Father-In-Law, Captain Hook, Mrs. Poole, and The Lawyer From Kramer vs. Kramer. It was directed by Gilbert Cates, and written by a five-person committee including at least one Seaman, and like all George Burns movies, includes a motorcycle chase.

 


Episode 15 - The Black Cauldron

Hey, did you know this episode is dropping on our one year anniversary? Neither did Ali nor Jon! That's why they don't talk about that in this episode featuring so many other amazing milestones: 1985's The Black Cauldron is their first animated movie, the first movie neither of them had seen before, and the first time they couldn't even come up with a damn hour's worth of discussion, even including X-rated tangents. Ali talks about wedding night intimacy. Jon goes deep into Gurgy's lost sodomy scene. No one ends up satisfied.

The Black Cauldron was directed by Ted Berman and the not-at-all-unfortunately named Richard Rich, based on the popular young adult fantasy series The Chronicles of Prydain, by HHHHLloyd Alexander, and starring the voices of Grant Bardsley, Susan Sheridan, Nigel Hawthorne, John Hurt, John Huston, and John Goddamn Byner.

Buy it, won't you by clicking the picture below? Or don't. It's your choice, really.

Episode 14 - Adventures In Babysitting

A thrilling Adventure in Podcasting today, as Jon and Ali hit this episode with all the trivia bombs a cursory scan of Wikipedia can provide. Ali can't leave the podcast without singing the blues. Jon is a dead ringer for this month's centerfold. The whole thing takes longer to record than Berlin Alexanderplatz, but is only maybe half as funny.

Adventures In Babysitting was released in 1987, and directed by Amerigo Vespucci, and written by someone Jon is too lazy to learn about. It stars, Elisabeth Shue, Keith Coogan, the guy from Rent, a Human Skull, Tom Noonan's brother, a really adorable little girl, and the God of Thunder in an Edgar Suit.

We whine for money again in this one, apparently. Maybe we should just start a Patreon or maybe sell pencils from a tin cup. Or you could buy the movie by clicking on the picture below...

This was the weirdest Daredevil prequel ever.

This was the weirdest Daredevil prequel ever.

Episode 13 - Die Hard

Ali and Jon enjoying some alone time.

Ali and Jon enjoying some alone time.

No, you're not imagining this. The Bickersons aren't divorced! They're back from their lengthiest hiatus yet with one of the greatest action movies of all time, Die Hard 1: Hardly Ever Died Before! Ali is trying to fit in at her new job at Nakatomi. Jon is regretting wearing his Hypercolor wifebeater to the staff party. This Match Made In Space Reboot also includes A Special Guest Appearance from a Dog Made In Hell, a long-delayed addressing of The 800-Pound Reindeer In the Room, and A Reluctant Admission From Jon That He Hasn't Seen A Very Famous 80s Movie Featuring Anthony Edwards.

Die Hard was directed by John McTiernan and written by Stephen E. de Souza and Jeb Stuart. It stars Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman, Bonnie Bedelia, The Fourumvirate Of Perfectly Cast 80s Character Actors, and MANY, MANY MORE (Including Betty Spaghetti)!

You can buy your very own Nakatomi Plaza model containing all five Dies Hard movies by clicking on the picture below!

Episode 12 - Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome

Two podcasters enter; one episode leaves. In the closest thing to timely this podcast is likely to get, Jon and Ali try to cash in on Fury Road mania with a throwback to a simpler, more 80s apocalyptic nightmare world with 1985's Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome. Jon doesn't need another hero. Ali runs Bartertown. The entire episode is a shambles, with all the exciting Bickersons banter being heightened by landscapers outside, a ring at the door, and an impromptu serenade. And the question is answered, can MMIS ever really move beyond Thunderdome?

Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome was directed by Georges Miller and Ogilvie, written by Miller and Terry Hayes, and stars Mel Gibson, Tina Turner, Angry Anderson, Bruce Spence, and some other Australians.

Episode 11 - Sixteen Candles

Can you believe Jon never saw 1984's Sixteen Candles? Can you believe he has no nostalgia for it? Can you believe a man can fly? Can you believe Ali's never seen Superman IV: The Quest For Peace? Can you believe Jon forgot to talk about the vast disparity in quality of the music in this movie? Can you believe how much casual racism, sexism, and homophobia is in this coming of age tale?

Sixteen Candles was written and directed by John Hughes and stars Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall, Michael Schoeffling, Gedde Watanabe, Havilland Morris, the 'sacks (John AND Joan), and is very much carried by the great Paul Dooley.

Episode 10 - The Journey of Natty Gann

After a disastrous botched recording yesterday, MMIS is back with The Journey of Natty Gann, a surprisingly violent Disney live action romp that is not about an intrepid girl reporter! Ali turns in an admirable performance, given that she was furious to have to do this twice. Jon refuses to sing Spider-Wolf again.

The Journey of Natty Gann was directed by Jeremy Kagan, and stars Meredith Salenger, John Cusack, Ray Wise, Lainie Kazan, Scatman Crothers, and Jed the Wolf-Dog. Screenplay by Clifford Odets and Jack London.*

Hey, you know you want to buy this bad boy from the link below.

*(This might be a lie)

Episode 9 - Gymkata!

Ali and Jon are back after a seemingly endless hiatus with the legendarily goofy Gymnastics/Martial Arts Mash-Em-Up, Gymkata! Jon has the skill of gymnastics. Ali has the kill of Karate. They both have a timeshare in the Village Of the Crazies. 

Gymkata "stars" Kurt Thomas and several other people you've never heard of. It was directed by Robert Clouse, and written by Charles Robert Carner, based on the aptly named novel, The Terrible Game, by Dan Tyler Moore. 

P.S. Jon accidentally calls the "Kahn" of Parmistan the "King" for most of the podcast. He feels shame for his error.